i've been thinking...

and I've been afraid to say it outloud. I was looking at my Nike+ run history and it's undeniable... my longest run was the day I broke my leg. Oh, I imagine that the leg was probably on the verge of breaking for a month before I actually broke it but the day I broke 4 miles was the day the it, in fact, broke. So that was many moons ago. Well not that many really, only like 3 but still, not yesterday. On November 19th I hit the road again. I had tried to run and failed. I tried a couple of times to run from the car to the front door of the gym or from the store to the car, to no avail. But that day, that blessed day, November 19th, I ran 3.59 miles at a 10:56 average pace (hovering really around the 10 ish mark if you deduct warm up and cool down pace). Now it's do or die. Shit or get off the proverbial pot time.

 Big Sur is coming soon. OK not that soon, like 18 weeks, but still. I have to make the decision if I'm going to run the 10.6 or shoot the moon and try the full. I'm leaning toward the 10.6 mostly because I don't want my first marathon to be a disaster and I think trying to train for a marathon on a mostly still not completely healed leg (how's that for vague) is not the best idea. So the 10.6 it will probably be and San Fran will be my marathon debut. This is a big decision in a runners life. If you're considering being a marathoner, you probably want your first marathon to be memorable and mostly finishable. I think SF might fit the bill. It's far enough away that I'll have a good solid year of real running under my belt and still close enough to look forward to. Plus it's San Francisco so how can you really go wrong with that. Now for the choice of training.

I have John Bingham's book Marathoning for Mortals  and I like it. Mostly because it's written for people like me, real people, who don't worry about VO2 and all that jazz but also because he's got programs for half and fulls with every level from walk the whole thing to run the whole thing. Now I'd never set out to WALK a marathon. Good God people who wants to walk 26.2 miles? Ick. But I like that he's realistic and that he recognizes that people come to running with all different fitness levels from "I can run to the end of my driveway" to "How much do you run? I run 50 miles a week." (50 miles a week is a lot). John's programs are time realistic as well. 14 weeks for the 1/2 and 18 for the full. My only real issue is that the half schedule calls for far less running then I'm already doing. The first week has runs of 2 and 3 miles and the  long  run in only 3. Not a crisis I guess but either way. Maybe what I should do is the marathon training but then only run the 10.6'er. A couple of the miles on that course are just straight uphill. Ouch. The marathon training might be a better prep anyway.  

Well either way, my point was to say, I'm ready. I'm ready to get back in the saddle. And p.s. I'm scared. I wouldn't freely admit that to anyone (so it's a good damn thing no on reads this blog) but I am. I am just absolutely TERRIFIED that I am going to break something or wound some other part of me. There is that little part of my brain that screams "SEE you were never meant to be an athlete, otherwise your stupid leg wouldn't have broken just from the act of running on pavement." And then there's that other part of my brain (I think it's a little bigger) that says "Listen here missy... you cannot let the years and years of being told you were smart and not athletic stop you from running a mother fricking 100 miles if you want to do it. You have a heart and lungs. You have feet and legs and aside from that, what more do you need? So shut up, put on your Sauchonys and go outside fool. Hit the road and run. Listen to your body, but run. Just run"