J. Crew. The First Lady likes you and so do I

I did a bad bad thing. Which I am going to share with you all. Because... frankly I need to tell someone. I went to J.Crew. However going to J. Crew is not the bad thing. I did not go to the J. Crew online. The one where the clothes are safely out of reach. Instead I went to the real actual J. Crew. This is how it happened....

I went to Fresno (a bit of a drive from my house). I don't go to Fresno very often, well frankly cause it's # 1. kind of far (45 minutes) and I don't like driving my HE-UGE car up there. I feel like I have to plant a tree to offset my carbon footprint everytime I go. and # 2. I tend to shop when I am there. There are places to shop. Lots of places. But... my grandfather was having surgery there and I thought I'd have lunch with my dad who lives there as well. So I went.

Oops I got there too early. So... dun dun dun. Shopping. And I have to admit I set myself up to have time to go to J. Crew cause, well frankly, I like it there. So I went. I had 30 minutes and a pair of pants in mind. After much searching I FINALLY I found them in a size 8 (and three shirts to go along). Apparently a size 8 is common here cause there weren't many. I couldn't find the color I wanted so I settled for khaki. In any case I found them. I have bought things from J. Crew many times. Most recently a dress for an occasion. The last time I bought pants from them I bought a size 10 and had to return them because they were too small. Way too small. I didn't even order the size 12 because frankly... I WAS a SIZE 10 in every other maker and I refused to wear a size 12 just cause J. Crew runs small. So you can see how I'd be afraid of the 8.

I went in the dressing room and prayed. It sounded like this:

"Please Dear Lord, let these pants fits. Please. Please. Please. Lord if they are too small I will literally fall to the floor in a mound of tears and hysteria and no one wants to see that. So please, for the sake of the salesperson and myself, Lord, please, let these size 8 pants fit. Amen. PS Bless the starving children and help us have world peace."

And I took my jeans off....

And I put the J. Crew Favorite Fit Everyday Chino in Khaki, $59.50 (on sale today for $10 off) on. With my eyes closed. Just in case. And they fit. Thank you Lord. Thank you. THANK YOU. ANd please don't forget about the children and the world peace.

Uh Oh. They don't fit...

What? They are WAY TOO BIG????? It's a lie. Check the tag. Size 8 regular. Get another pair in another color. Quickly. Uh oh. Still WAY TOO BIG.

Do I dare?

The saleslady bless her heart, she probably thought I was a lunatic. Prancing around the hall holding out the waistband like I was looking for my missing stomach.

Saleslady: "Excuse me ma'am. Would you like me to get you those pants in a smaller size? A 6 perhaps?"

Me: UM... I don't know. Do these shrink?

Saleslady: Well they do. A tad. About 2%. But not enough to fit you in that size. BTW Your butt looks fabulous in those pants (shamelessly trying to complete the sale I realize).

Me: Um... OK I guess I can try a size 6. I'm sure they're going to be waaaay too small though. (I didn't want to tell her I hadn't worn a size 6 since 1994). But please bring the Dark Fog. Grey is so now.

Saleslady: Sure thing. Be right back. Grey is the new color for spring. It's true. (thanks I keep up with my fashion news)

(she returns, pants in hand in 3 colors)

Me: (pants now on, once again prancing in the mirrored area) Uh... Uh... Ok what do you think? (I think these don't possibly fit me).

Saleslady: Those look PERFECT. Those 8's were waaaaay too big. I love those pants on you. They look fantastic. (again I know, trying to sell the pants). In fact I have those pants myself and I love them. (again with the selling)

Me: Thanks (sheepishly). I'll take them. All.

And now my friends, you know why I spent $249 at J. Crew today.